


That's Me Without You

by amiipond



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 18:26:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5466641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amiipond/pseuds/amiipond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What would happen if Oliver believed he is going to lose Felicity? What would be his feelings? Picks up after episode 409</p>
            </blockquote>





	That's Me Without You

**Author's Note:**

> Special thank you to my friend because I would have never been able to publish this without her. 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Losing her was his biggest fear and, for a long few weeks, he thought he would lose her. He would have given his life for her not going through that situation. He would go back to the island to spend five more years of hell if that fact was a guarantee that she would be fine.

Everything he had lost, the hell he had to live for years… comparing it to losing her, it all was nothing now. Just the thought of losing her was killing him. He could barely breathe and his body was like the last leaf that remains in the tree in a rainy day, he thought he was about to fall down any moment. He didn't want to talk to anyone, except for a needed few words. He just wanted to be with her. Feeling the soft skin of her hand in his, and whispering in stifled tears that everything was going to be fine, even though he wasn't sure about that. Just the fact of feeling her hand made him think that everything was going to be OK, because that’s what they always did.

The helplessness he felt at not being able to do anything. The angst by seeing her in that hospital bed and feeling how her light was slowly fading. Felicity was his guiding light, if she died, he would die with her. He thought he might be overreacting when he said he didn't have any reason to live without her, but the truth was that she was his reason to live. She was who led him down the right path when he made the decision to take the wrong one. Then she was there, always with the right words, just in the right moment, even when he won’t listen to the truth, because she was not afraid of whatever his reaction would be.

“Everything is going to be fine, Ollie”, Thea tried to reassure him, but nothing was going to take. Oliver won’t listen to anyone, but he always did it, because that was what Felicity had taught him –to listen to others when they only want to help him, and to keep the calm even in the worst circumstances.

Donna was also making a huge effort to stay strong. She trusted her daughter and knew that she was strong enough to recover from that. She tried to talk to Oliver, to calm him down, by telling him some things about Felicity, things he didn’t know about so far. Those things were the ones that made him lover her even more. He loved everything about her, but especially he loved those little things that made her different from the all women he had been with. She was something else, special and unique. He loved the way she talked, the way she babbled when she got nervous, just like the day they met. Unintentionally, that day changed his life forever. That day changed both of their lives. A merely computer full of bullets made them met the first time, and ever since they started to write their story. A story that was not so full of happy moments, but full of trust and mutual understanding.

Felicity came to his life when he needed the most that light she was, and even though he wanted to keep her apart from him, he couldn’t. Felicity was the first woman who he didn’t have second intentions with. He didn’t want just to sleep with her, as he always did with all women he had met. She had always been different, in every single way. She was his friend, his best friend, to whom he told his secret, because he felt he could trust her. And he wasn’t wrong. She was that friend where he found the love of his life.

The first day they spent together was one of his best days ever. They’d had plenty of them, but that one was different, special… it was the day when Oliver was finally happy, the day when he left his fears behind him and decided to share his life with her.  
She was screaming, in her head, the moment he told he wanted to be with her. Many things had happened in the past few years and she never thought he would have that kind of relationship with her. Actually, she never thought he would be in love with her someday. Something unthinkable, but eventually it happened.

That day was the first time she saw Oliver happy, the first day of many that he had said how happy he was –because he kept saying it all summer long. It was the first day they made love to one another, and slept together for waking up together. It was a completely new feeling for Oliver. He had never had what he had with Felicity… true love, unique and special… but mostly it was real.

Waking up with her by his side made him feel the luckiest man in the world for the first time. He stared at her sleeping, her head on his chest. She looked so beautiful, because she was really gorgeous in every possible way. For him, she was. In that moment disappeared from his mind everything he went through, because in that very moment nothing else mattered, just her. And he smiled like a fool in love –actually in love– he was in love in the most real way than he’d been in his whole life. He felt the need to take care of her every minute. She looked so tiny and fragile in his arms he needed to look after her, protecting her from anything that might hurt her. He was who hurt her once, thinking it was the best for her, –to be apart from each another– but now that had changed. He wanted to make her happy in the same way she made him feel it. He had no fear anymore to tell the world how much he loved her. He wasn’t afraid of walking hand in hand with her anywhere in the world, neither to tell her how he felt. His only fear was losing her, but Oliver Queen wasn’t going to lose Felicity Smoak, because she would never let him to be away from her life either.

When Felicity woke up, he felt everything had been worth it, every plea, every tear, every caress, every word… everything had been worth it because she finally had woken up and was back with him. She’d come back to his life and he felt truly grateful for it. He felt the happiest man in the world himself just because the love of his life was not in danger anymore, at least at the moment. He felt the relief of hearing her voice, and that sound was music to his ears.

After many questions, she had to tell him over and over again that she was fine, that he needed to stop worrying about her, but Oliver wanted to be sure almost at every second that she was OK and didn't need anything. Of course she felt thankful for her fiancé being so attentive, she also felt blessed to have a man like Oliver by her side, despite the thousand problems he’d had.

“You don’t need to bring me anything else.” –she said for the umpteenth time, sitting in bed, her back against four or five cushions, enough to be comfortable while she checked her tablet.

“Are you sure? Don’t you want me to bring something to eat?”

“The only thing I need is you, sitting here with me.”

Oliver sat down by her side, and he felt her head leaning on in his shoulder slowly, while she was updating her work from her tablet. She had been absent for a few weeks so she had a lot of work to do, anything a tablet with an Internet connection couldn’t do. Though Curtis had made sure that everything was in order, which was not enough for Felicity, she was trying to do those things to her liking.

“Are you sure you don’t need anything else?” –Oliver asked her again, after half an hour silent. He was just there, with her, saying nothing, staring at her, listening to her complaints aloud about all the work she had to do, and the mess some things were then, just for the fact that she wasn't there on time to fix them. 

“You’re such a big help just being here, you help me not to die of a heart attack with all this work…” Felicity was silent a few seconds at the insinuation of the idea that she could have died. After what had happened, she knew it wouldn’t be easy for him. “Metaphorically speaking” –she added, expecting some kind of response from him.

“I’m glad I’ve been helpful. I wish I could do anything else than I do, I feel that’s not enough” –he decided to ignore Felicity’s comment about her dying, as he continued with his concern of him not being as helpful as he’d like.

“You should believe me when I say I don’t need you to do anything else.” –Oliver closed his mouth and ducked his head a few seconds to look up at her again, he knew she wasn’t done talking, meaning that he needed to listen to her. “I told you that only your presence is helpful. Just by feeling you next to me makes me feel good, and I don’t want you to feel that you aren't doing enough for me, believe me, you do more than I could ask for and I love you for that. Though, you need a break as well. I also care about you, as much as you care about me. You need to get some sleep and stop looking out what I need. I’m fine, and the only thing I need is you stop worrying and going to sleep”. Oliver kissed her forehead as he heard her words. 

She was right, he needed some sleep, but his protective instinct didn’t let him. The fear of losing her was still there, and he wasn’t sure it would disappear anytime soon because of the kind of life they were living. Years ago he would have given up on her so she could be safe from harm, but now he couldn’t be away from her, he couldn’t even imagine a life without her. He couldn’t imagine Felicity, now his wife-to-be, with another man, that idea killed him.

It'd been weeks since Felicity was seriously injured. It’d been weeks in which Oliver never stopped taking care of her. He kept asking her what she needed, even though she would insist she didn't need anything else. He would ask her, even when she was completely recovered. He wanted to be sure she'd got everything she needed, even though it was just one of her favorite breakfast, one of those he would make for her, because she loved when he made food for her, and he felt totally grateful for being able to cook so that she could enjoy his gift.

“Good morning” –Oliver said, placing the coffee mug on the table. Every morning, Oliver got up early to make her breakfast. Felicity liked to wake up to freshly brewed coffee smell and a tasty omelet on the table.

“Why you're never by my side when I wake up?” –she complained as every morning.

“That ‘never’ is true. You know I like to wake up with you, but I like better to see your face when you have your freshly brewed coffee”.

“I like better to wake up with you, but that coffee is not half bad” –she said, walking towards him, wrapping his waist with her arms.

“To kick start your day with energy” –Oliver said, grinning as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“What are you thinking about, Oliver Queen?” –she said playfully as her hands had wormed their way under his shirt stroking his back.

When Oliver was about to answer her question, she covered his mouth with hers, capturing his lips. Damn it, she had such a power over him. Oliver tried to pull away to say something, but he couldn’t. Who could just pull away Felicity’s mouth? He wasn’t able to do anything else but kissing her. After several weeks without feeling her body, he felt a hunger growing in him, more than ever. His body reacted on its own when she kissed him as she led him towards the couch, where she sat straddling over him. It was sure that Felicity knew what she was doing and Oliver wouldn't stop her.

“I wasn't thinking about anything… but now that you say so, there’re a few things I think we could do…” –he said, leaning back as he put her closer again.

“Stop talking” –she said softly in his ear, and gently bit his earlobe as he bit his own bottom lip.

“Fe… li… ci… ty” –he could barely say her name as she raked her teeth down his neck, something that turned him on so much. Felicity knew exactly where his weak spots were, and she was willing to reach every single one of them, slowly.  
She put her forefinger on his lips as she hushed him as she giggled.

“We could call it ‘morning sex’ if you want to… but you know this is more than that… I mean, it’s been weeks since… for obvious reasons… we’re not talking about that… I mean… Oliver, don’t let me keep talking”.

Oliver took her lips with his, making her stop babbling one more time. When he realized, she’d already burrowed her hand under his shirt, stripping it down so that her lips could feel better his body… in that moment there was no turning back. He couldn’t keep his hands off her, he wanted to touch her, take her clothes off, but it was almost impossible. Felicity had full control over him and it wouldn’t let him to finish that simple task.

Oliver moaned as he felt her lips on his neck again, and let out a little scream as she bit it, giggling. He was really enjoying. Being with Felicity, whatever the situation was, it was like touch the Heaven with his hands.

He made an attempt to take her shirt off, vainly, since her hands wouldn't let him do it, so he did a quick movement and rolled over pulling her beneath him on the couch, taking over the situation. He loved when she was the one in control, but his body couldn't help but react that way, he needed her. 

“I’m sorry, it’s my turn” –he said as he slowly took her shirt off, caressing her body soothingly as he slipped out of her clothing.

He left a trail of kisses across her body reaching her mouth and playing with her lips without kissing her. Now it was him the one turning her on. Felicity placed one hand on his neck and the other on his back, pulling him against her and kissing him. But before she could reach his lips, he was burying his face against her neck. 

Felicity’s groans drove him crazy. Desperately, she tried to reach his mouth, digging her fingernails into his back. He could feel her nails, but Oliver wouldn’t say anything, he got lost in her neck. He probably would leave red marks on it, which made her scream as he laughed. She would have to go to work thinking that anyone would notice she had been in a very intimate moment with her future husband.

“Oliver…” –she said, gasping for air. Oliver knew what she was asking for, but he wouldn't give in easily to her desires. This time he was going to enjoy her, after weeks, after the thought of losing her forever. “Everybody will know you have a fixation with my neck if you keep stuck there much longer” –Oliver couldn’t help but laughing at the blonde's comment. He pulled back to look at her eyes.

“I can’t help it, you drive me totally crazy.” –and he kissed her, his hands sliding up her skin, pausing at the scar which reminded him that she nearly died, the one that also reminded him that she was still there, with him… that she was not going anywhere, not without him.

He slowly stood to take off his pants, taking his time –there was no need to rush, unless they were desperate, in which case they didn't even take their clothes off, and this was so not that moment– he needed her, but didn't want this to be just a horny moment.

“I don't know what I'd do if I had lost” –he said, staring at the bullet scar that nearly ended her life. She simply listened to him. “I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t see your face every morning when I wake up, if I couldn’t hear you complaining when you don’t see me by your side in bed when you wake up. I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t here to tell me what to do when I feel lost, when I make stupid decisions” –she caressed his hand and laced her hand with his. “I don’t know what I’d do if you weren’t in my life. Felicity, I swear… I wouldn’t be this man you know. I’d be lost without you…”

“Oliver…” –she sat up and looked into his eyes. “I am here. I’m not going anywhere, but if that were the case, I know with no doubt that you would choose the right path.”

“No. I wouldn’t. Felicity, you don’t get it, nothing makes sense without you. Green Arrow would make no sense if you are not here.”

“Don’t think about it” –Felicity caressed his cheek with her hand and kissed him. “I don’t want you to think those things. I just want you to enjoy this moment. This is our moment.”


End file.
